(or Mice, which is probably more correct).
I have found the cork which you have been enjoying. I've swept up the poison you seem to have been rolling in. I hope you ate some. I'm sorry I had to kill those 7 of your friends and family, but really, we couldn't live together any longer. I thought they were all very good looking. I gave them a good send off, one by one, out of the trap and ceremonially into the rubbish bin. The poison is under the sink, the trap is now in the gap next to the fridge, in case you would like a snack. I've washed the cupboards and the drawers. I've washed everything inside them too. I've poured hot water into the cutlery draw, and it's outside drying in the sun. I've put anything attractive to you into a plastic container or into a cupboard that so far hasn't interested you. Could we just agree to get along now? You can have the outside, do what you like....go for your life. The inside, especially the kitchen, is mine.