Pixie Post

Monday, August 14, 2006


Raewyn and I have lunch together once every two weeks or so. Sometimes we have a glass of wine and take longer than the allotted hour. We put the world to rights, as you do. Raewyn's partner died very suddenly nearly 2 years ago. He was the one who called me Pixie, which I talked about here. We talked about him a lot, and she always would say how lucky she was to have been loved by him. We usually met at a cosy pub where the food is cheap and cheerful. She confessed she was drinking too much alone at home at night in the early months after her partner died and not eating, so she'd order a salad or vegetarian dish and say that was her healthy meal taken care of for the week. She was having great fun telling me of stories of dating, of the married men who hit on her, of how all the decent ones were taken, or far too young. We talked a lot about men this year, hers and mine.

When Jack was born (he's 12 now) she came to visit at the hospital and brought a blue cardigan she'd crocheted. Her first for years she said. When I went into the city to have lunch with her (and him) a few months later I dressed him up in it. She laughed her head off, said it was horrible and made me take it off him and promise not to use it again. We laughed and laughed.

I last saw her at the end of June or the first days of July. Then in July she didn't answer my emails, her cell phone didn't get answered either. She stopped sending the jokes and those soppy story emails with the too cute pictures which she loved. Today I decided enough was enough and I was going to find her. I rang her at work and left her a voicemail. I sent more emails, but this time they bounced. I tried her cell phone again but it beeped it's 'no such number' sound at me. I have another friend who works at the same place, so I asked P to see if she could find out if Raewyn still worked there. We joked that she must have fallen in love. Maybe she's gone off to study full time I thought.

P rang me to tell me Raewyn died on about 8 July. She was found by a friend who went to deliver her some food because she was sick. She'd had a few days off work. I missed her funeral because I didn't know. I rang a couple of other people who also didn't know. Someone else told me he was surprised I wasn't at the funeral (and apologised profusely).
Raewyn was petite and blonde. She was bubbly and bright and liked to party. She was a young teenager when her son was born, and she was proud to see him settling down and getting his life together in his 20s. He spoke beautifully at her partners funeral. I'm sure he did her proud at hers. She was very intelligent, and had just started studying Sociology at University part-time....her first tertiary study, she was so excited!
I can't believe she won't be around for lunch any more.
Have you got a lunch buddy? Have lunch with your buddy tomorrow for me! And if you're in town, come have lunch with me.


kirsty said...

Lunch buddies are often our best confidantes. I'm sorry you don't have Raewyn in your life anymore. She must have been great fun.

Ali Honey said...

Oh Pixie,that's so sad for you. Not the best way to find out either.If you come to Tauranga let me know and I'll meet you for lunch.Try to keep smiling and think of the good things about your lunch buddy. Hugs from Alison.

Martha said...

That is very very sad. I'd join you for lunch, but I don't know you, and I have two fairly insane children who don't sit still. This doesn't make for a relaxing scene!

Another Outspoken Female said...

That's awful!

Lunch on me...soon, in one country or another :)

Antipodeesse said...

Such sad, sad news. You write about her so vividly.

The Sagittarian said...

"And this for comfort thou must know:
Timaes that are ill won't still be so;
Clouds will not ever pour down rain;
A sullen day will clear again." Robert Herrick, 1591-1674 English poet.
Next time we meet you and I let's raise a glass (or two) to the sky
Breathe in the scent, get a good whiff
and drink to your firendship with raewyn Smith. (That one is mine)
Big hugs, see you soon.

Judy said...

Oh Pixie,
I'm so sorry to hear about your Raewyn. You gave her so much...do not feel badly for not being at her funeral. You helped her during her life and that was what was important to her.
Hugs to you,

Fleagirl said...

If I could fly to you for lunch, I would. Even though I'm terrified to fly, I've always so wanted to sit and have a nice glass of wine and talk about our boys (and then talk about other things!). I'm sorry your friend has died, but I think you're fortunate for having known her. Cheers, Shane's mom from KT.